SELF FORGIVENESS: The Path to Liberation

Freedom comes from seeing differently.

Chronic regret keeps us bound to a story that no longer serves, but presence reveals we are already innocent.

Forgiveness isn’t effort—it’s perception.

Chronic regret is like a heavy backpack we keep picking up, even though we know it’s filled with bricks. It’s that voice in your head that says, “You should have known better,” except—well—you didn’t. Regret keeps you stuck in a story that no longer serves you. It whispers that you can’t move forward until you punish yourself just a little longer.

But here’s the truth: self-judgment isn’t justice. It’s just more suffering.

The Illusion of Regret

When we regret the past, we’re essentially yelling at a younger version of ourselves for not having the wisdom we now carry. That’s not fair. Imagine scolding a toddler for falling while learning to walk.

You did the best you could with the awareness you had. Period.

Regret thrives in repetition. It replays the same scene over and over, like a bad movie you can’t turn off. It keeps you locked in an emotional courtroom where you are both the prosecutor and the defendant—except there’s no judge, no jury, and no verdict that brings peace.

A Course in Miracles offers a radical shift:
“The past is over. It can touch me not.”
In other words, the past is done messing with you—unless you invite it in for tea.

Forgiveness as a Shift in Perception

Forgiveness, in its truest form, isn’t an act we perform. It’s a perception we allow.

It doesn’t come from trying harder or doing penance—it comes from the willingness to see differently. To recognize that the person we were—the choices we made—were all happening within a dream of mistaken identity. We thought we were separate. We thought we were broken. We thought fear was real.

When perception begins to heal, forgiveness arises on its own. Like a snake shedding old skin, we simply no longer identify with the story that kept us bound.

We don’t forgive by force.

We forgive by seeing clearly.
And as the illusion of guilt dissolves, what’s left is innocence.

Three Questions for Self-Forgiveness

If you’re ready to lay down the whip of self-punishment, take a moment. Breathe. And ask:

• Could I forgive myself?

• Would I forgive myself?

• When?

Here’s the secret: the answer is always yes. And the time is always now.

Presence is the Healing

Eckhart Tolle reminds us:
“Nothing ever happened in the past; it happened in the Now.”
So if you're caught in regret, you're not actually in the present. You're in a mental time machine, trying to re-edit a scene that’s already faded into mist.

You don’t need to rewrite the past. You need to return to Presence. To let this moment show you the truth: you are not your story. You are not your shame. You are not your mistake. You are the awareness in which all of this is appearing—and dissolving.

Love Is the Final Answer

Anne Lamott wrote,
“Forgiveness means it finally becomes unimportant that you hit back.”
That includes hitting back at yourself.

One of the quickest ways to shift out of self-looping? Love someone. Call a friend. Ask them how they’re really doing. Be a mirror of compassion. Give what you most want to receive.

As Jesus said,
“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
This includes you. What you offer to others, you offer to yourself.

You Are Already Free

The past is over. The verdict is in.

You are free.

Not because you earned it. But because that’s the only way it’s ever been.

So go on—be free. Get out of your own head. Call someone. Ask them how their day is going. There’s more to life than what’s happening in your mind.

And in case no one told you lately:
You’re doing great. You’re not behind. You’re exactly on time.
You are forgiven.

Now, just take a look, see that this is true, and let it be so.